I dot't like my family

Sep 15 · 10min

I don't like my biological family because I grew up in a suppressive environment from a young age.

I have a "cousin" who is my father's sister's son. It seems like he got hold of a script for someone else's child – excelling in academics, tall, and with good looks. Whenever I visit my grandmother's house, I can't escape being compared, whether it's about grades or work. It's as if he's a paragon of excellence in my father's eyes, having even secured a government job.

I am very fortunate to have reached adulthood and left that family behind. Although I cannot completely distance myself from them in this country, I no longer have to listen to their complaints every day.

I can use my phone during meals, choose not to have onions, and avoid eating foods I dislike. These are things I could never do while living with them.

Of course, when I was younger, I used to hear about another "cousin," my mother's brother's son. He was naturally talented academically, even standing on a podium at a young age to teach his peers.

I never realized that when I was a child, my parents never asked if I was happy at school. Instead, they would say, "How's your brother doing? What awards did he receive? Did the teachers praise him again? At school, even the teachers don't remember you, and every year, your evaluations just consist of empty words."

I don't particularly want to dwell on those times. I just want to tell everyone here that I don't like living with them, I don't like eating with them, and I don't like talking to them. I just want to stay away from them.

In fact, when I left school and didn't return home, I chose to work directly. I thought to myself that I could live in a place completely without them, and I unconsciously felt relieved.

Of course, during this time, they always denied everything I did, easily dismissing it.

Naturally, I am an unfilial child. I have been nurtured by them to the point where I can't empathize with them; I just find them noisy. They always say, "We are doing this for your own good; we love you." But they have never shown it. Well, they've said it, but there were no actions to back it up. In the end, they would only say in a casual tone, "We love you; we just don't know how to express it."

Now, I don't need them anymore. I was always a rootless person, never expecting them to buy me a house, a car, or arrange everything for me. Maybe I will eventually end up alone, never getting married. As long as I can stay away from them, that's all I need.

I don't feel the need to list their wrongdoings here. I just want to be able to distance myself from them.